The Upper Crust

Totalt Jävla Mörker "Ondskans Makt"

Totalt Jävla Mörker "Ja!"

Totalt Jävla Mörker "Kall Värld"

[right click to download, ctrl or option click if yr a mac!]


Anyone who read this know i've heaped a ton of praise on bands like Mastodon and High On Fire for carrying on the proud metal tradition of our hessian forefathers. Well now I'm here to tell you that those band ain't got SHIT on Totalt Jävla Mörker.

Totalt Jävla Mörker come from Kågedalen in the northern parts of Sweden. Tony of Record Robot fame turned me onto this "crust metal" (seriously what the fuck does that mean?!?) band whose name translate into english as TOTAL FUCKING DARKNESS. Oh yeah! You can't go wrong with a metal ass name like that. My guess is that they may have taken their name from the Cradle Of Filth song of the same name, but they kick Cradle of Filth's ass. So hard. Oh so hard.

From the first second, "Kall Värld" grabs you by the veins in yr neck and drags you thru the bleak wet Swedish countryside. Then it throw up on you and leaves you shivering, naked in a puddle of yr own urine. These songs are not kind to you. I'm not a cunning linguist, but my guess is that "Ja!" is swedish for "Yeah!" which sums the feeling I get when I listen to the song. A riff on Ministry's "N.W.O." is thrown in for good measure. God this band rocks. Why do band like this and Die!Die!Die! have to reside on the other side of the planet while we're stuck here with whiny Debbie Gibson music class vocaled bands like Fall Out Boy and Panic In The Disco tearing up the charts?

That's it. I'm starting my own crust metal band. I still don't know what it means though.