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Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Don West/MC Diamond King

donauto

So a while back I discovered a man named Don West. Don West used to sell baseball cards on a home shopping channel in the middle of the night. I never saw him do his magic in person, but rather discovered him through donwest.org, a website devoted to collecting sound bytes of the man in action. You can download them in bulk files called "wax packs" and they make any mix cd a treat.

This guy sounds like Chris Farley amped up on cocaine and cobra tranquilizers. But he is ever the cunning salesman, giving you such deals as a "75 Dollar Shaq Rookie Card!" or the Edgerrin James "Decade of Dominance!". He has a passion for sports collectibles, and is determined to make you feel just as passionate.

Sadly, Don West's career as a sports card collectible salesman went down in flames. He and his partner Kenny (who would never be seen in the studio, only ever making appearances over the phone. Pretty shady, Kenny!) got caught up in a fake baseball card ring, and his life's work was torn away from him. Don can now be found as a commentator on a wrestling show called TNA on Spike TV. He's still exciteable, but the passion is just not there. Every once in a while, if you look closely, you can see a tear being held back in his eye, for he longs to be serving up deals on unopened boxes of the 1988 Topps Traded Series.

mcdiamondking1

This is my homage to Mr. West, an EP I have created, under the show name MC Diamond King, to pay tribute to Don and the fun he used to have late at night somewhere in Washington selling children's trading cards. I hope you enjoy the sick beats as well as what I feel is the story of Don from start to finish. From the young up and coming days full of youth and exuberance to Don's slow descent into madness. And yes, that's supposed to be a spaceship picking him up at the end.

Don West is dead. Long live Don West.

  • MC Diamond King "Deal Of The Century"

  • MC Diamond King "Interlude Pt.1"

  • MC Diamond King "Money Shot"

  • MC Diamond King "Interlude Pt. 2"

  • MC Diamond King "Sticky Fingaz Don Silkk"

  • MC Diamond King "Harvester Of Donruss"

  • MC Diamond King "Interlude Pt. 3"

  • MC Diamond King "Don West's Descent Into Madness"

  • [right click to download]

  • donwest.org
  • 6 Comments:

    Blogger Kevin said...

    Hahahaha! When I lived in Lubbock, Texas, me and a co-worker used to stay up late, drink and laugh at this guy and do really piss-poor imitations of him. He's dead?!?! That's terrible. But he was a gem. That man could sell a mint-condition Sammy Sosa rookie like nobody else.

    1:36 AM PDT  
    Anonymous brian said...

    This is terrifying/fascinating, but mostly funny. I feel kinda bad for laughing though. Insane!

    3:47 AM PDT  
    Blogger dusted21 said...

    well, he's not LITERALLY dead, just his home shopping career. so you don't have to feel bad....

    11:24 AM PDT  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Somehow this reminds me of being stuck in a horrible traffic jam in Tucson.

    5:18 PM PDT  
    Blogger BigShemp said...

    He sound like Chris Farley doing his Matt "Van Down By The River" Foley character half the time. Nice porno music for "Money Shot" -- I had that record!

    1:16 AM PDT  
    Blogger Little Sully said...

    Don West is pure genius. Last night, Billy and I were watching him on TNA and it looked like he was shitting himself every time her started talking. And THAT is fucking awesome.

    2:47 PM PDT  

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