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Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Förträngda Problem

bob hund

  • Bob Hund "Förträngda Problem"

  • [right click to download]

    McCULLOUGH's MP3 OF THE WEEK 007: 04.10.2006

    Title: "Förträngda Problem"
    Artist: Bob Hund
    Album: Omslag: Martin Kann
    Year: 1996

    First off, Bob Hund is the name of a person, it's the name of the band. They formed in Stockholm, Sweden in 1991, and all of their lyrics are sung in the Swedish dialect, skånsk. Bob Hund has a gigantic fan base in Scandanavia, but they've never become very popular anywhere else, probably because they don't sing in english. But as you'll see, understanding the words is not a factor. This is a FANTASTIC band that i've been listening to for a few years now. I found most of their music to be downloadable from various websites and file sharing programs. These dudes have a lot of Finnish fans particularly, and those Fins are BIG into the internet, if you haven't already noticed.

    When I first heard this i was in a car whizzing off to San Francisco. "Förträngda Problem" came on I was sure the lyrics were in english. It just sounded like the singer didn't annunciate very well and I pieced together my own lyrics for the song, kind of like Mick Jagger on 'Exile On Main Street'. (I STILL hear "Mom said yeah, mom said no.. Maybe your mom and I gotta go" in 'Rip This Joint') I actually asked to hear it again as soon as it was over, I was so intrigued. Well, turns out they were Swedish, and the lyrics I was hearing were just a reflection of my own twisted psyche. In other Bob Hund songs I heard things like "Bob Saget lurks in the spice mines" and "grandfather clock overload!". I thought it was the craziest, coolest shit I ever heard. Like if Robert Pollard (of Guided By Voices) had seriously lost his shit.

    The chorus to 'Förträngda Problem' is as follows:

    Summan är noll, det är aldrig försent
    Summan är noll, förträngda problem
    Va? är det sant!
    Nu eller aldrig, nu eller aldrig
    Aldrig

    which translates into english as:

    it adds up to zero, it's never too late
    it adds up to zero, repressed problems
    What? is it true?
    Now or never... now or never...

    But what I heard was different. I have taken the time to translate all of the lyrics to 'Förträngda Problem' into what I interpret them as. I am not making fun of Bob Hund or Swedes in general. This is just the bizarre, uneducated stab at what I thought the lyrics may have been:

    SOMEBODY OILY ALWAYS FOR SALE
    Translated by: Kevin McCullough

    [chorus]
    somebody oily always for sale
    someone in oil for panda to blame
    what it isn't

    hey noah wyle hey noah wyle
    i'll be...
    EEEEEEEEE

    [verse]
    you hit the bong
    some chubby hard on
    ya played a lark
    just to stand in me door on
    a mammal cradle
    some ripped sailors yall are
    or missing ugly
    with johnny depp's young lover

    norths of unto
    me mini car worked
    you feel upright and
    you're head's only lot
    ya ring your text or
    your auto baboon men
    you bring out glad and
    you dirty false spoon in him

    acting wait itch
    is so familiar
    and i feel like
    you're cleaning my shirt
    your cure for my dung
    and shammy your balls
    now me plant ate a toyota lady adam

    you hit the bong
    some chubby hard on
    ya played a lark
    just to stand in me door on
    a mammal cradle
    some ripped sailors yall are
    or missing ugly
    with johnny depp's young lover

    [guitar solo, repeat chorus, verse, chorus]


    Madness, I know. The real lyrics have to connection to that. Bottom line is, Bob Hund ROCKS. I even have them as one of my Myspace friends, although it's not literally the band, just some dude who created a Myspace page in homage to them, i guess. It seems as though the real Bob Hund may never come to America. Perhaps they can take my ridiculous english translations and start using them in lieu of their regular lyrics, opening them up to much broader range of English speaking fans. If they ever do, i'll be the first in line. But it better work this time.

  • bobhund.com
  • 9 Comments:

    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    That is one of the funniest things I have read to date, my friend. How clever you are! Makes me wonder (when I hear what I think is molatov or fromage) what I could come up with in my own words for these fabulous bob hund songs. Until I do, please "translate" another! Cheers!

    11:43 PM PDT  
    Blogger dusted21 said...

    ha! thanks! translate away!

    10:17 AM PDT  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Ok, here it goes...
    My version of Sista Bestellningen:

    I'm so a lover wasting, waiting for the lag in hell
    Door under left in the ring, didn't he?
    Scream and kinda cream, can't must tell all of the people here
    Trip on the people as and no one can complain
    Won some and two, shame that the crew, no less, are wanton, baby!
    Faster, mi amo, my son and tit are me
    Shit down my leg, now that I'm drinking so my drink is laid
    There so I'm soused, uh, thoroughlyeeeeahhh...

    Sister be still and on!

    And so maneuver we lag up to a funk until
    Who made another round? Sad count crow!
    Stay again till I'll do it! The colonel did the fan again
    Who cast the regular who had no Mulan-Quinn?
    His sister's son says, "kiss my head, who's seeking any-hoo?"
    My friends are mean killers since Milo has shouted, "Hey!"
    This is the voice that I meant to be heard
    Oh, shit, that was me too, yeah
    I hope they tow me home..eeyaah!
    Sister be still and on!

    1:07 AM PDT  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    ooh ooh me too! This is from the sixth track off of Om slag: Marin Kanin:

    Stood at Puvestrom
    Jose Gal Matant!
    So potato, oh man an elephant!
    Scarred me finger put in papas cunt
    San Quentin late to fall...so over the assault!

    For oh so very...they had "con dos lemonaides!"
    Africas skull cap- and slowly butter me
    Smokin' sopa..muemio dummy!
    S'incredible filter, my mean Paris fillet!

    Later read a book or after incense a crowd
    We're so in feel, unveiled, and Selma in Cancun!
    We call on our one penguin, about our turpentine
    See, comb your empanada and eat some dough, Lee Candy Cone

    They come and recommend and some they are in divorce
    So in prix you leave them "devine flaked four course!"
    And lord, bread per order, me moron for the pours!
    Your model ain't the dealer, your burnin up the first course!!!!

    Poor fellow glad he fell, your blaming to fall down
    Your gourmand ate two quail for first! I'm gonna pour my own garnier, hard's my fist!
    For pour a gloden "bon mi quallo"
    They all need a fun fuck haven
    To let down caballo!

    Your so bloody in Harlem
    The faggot killed a calf, uh.
    Artist descending
    His volume is a strivin'
    sombody had nayed it
    For sayin' some got up tight
    YOUR DRUMMIN UP THE WRONG KEY!
    YOUR DRUMMIN' MAY BEHOLD ME!
    OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!

    hee hee, amen.

    7:16 PM PDT  
    Blogger dusted21 said...

    man, these are brilliant. we should publish a trade paperback....

    9:36 AM PDT  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I hope these aren't offensive, even if they clearly seem to be. Not our intention...(Anonymous are, in fact, two different people on this blog...) We are simply writing what we hear. Which is not so nice. But FUN! Cheers! All hail bob hund!

    12:08 AM PDT  
    Blogger dusted21 said...

    i would think somehing would have to make sense first to be offensive. these are just silly. nothing wrong with that!

    8:51 AM PDT  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Ok, good. You have a point. Soldier on, mon ami!

    2:42 AM PDT  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Oh, and by the way, the 2nd post is from a chef. As if that wasn't obvious....ha!

    3:43 AM PDT  

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