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Friday, November 16, 2007

An Imaginary Interview Between Me and Paul Thomas Anderson

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by Matt Wolpert


Here's a transcript of the recent interview between me and Paul Thomas Anderson that happened in my mind.


ME: Let's get down to brass tacks.

PTA: Ok ....

ME: When you were writing "Magnolia", how many times did you consider calling it "Vadge-nolia"? Was it: A) 1 time, B) --

PTA: What?? Never.

ME: Hold on, Pal. Let me finish the question. When you were writing "Magnolia", how many --

PTA: Did you just call me "Pal"?

ME: No. I said "Hold on, Paul. Let me finish the question."

PTA: Whatever.

ME: When you were writing "Magnolia", how many times did you consider calling it "Vadge-nolia"? Was it: A) 1 time, B) 2 to 5 times, or C) 6 or more?

PTA: I never once considered calling it "Vadge-nolia".

ME: So .... which letter is that?

PTA: It's none of them! I considered calling it "Vadge-nolia" exactly ZERO times and that wasn't one of your choices.

ME: My mistake. Let me re-phrase: When you were writing "Magnolia", how many times did you consider calling it "Vadge-nolia"? Was it: A) 1 time, B) 2 to 5 times, C) 6 or more, or D) zero?

PTA: What the fuck, man?!?! I told you already: ZERO!!!

ME: Ok, so just to clarify, which letter are you choosing?

PTA: "D" -- ZERO!!!

ME: Pal Thomas Anderson. Thanks for your time.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Colonel Assrape McFuckstein said...

i really love this song

10:37 PM PST  
Blogger Rip Roarin said...

Finally, somewhere I can read interviews with insanely creative people we don't know and we'd never like. More from Matty please!

Matty should get a show on NPR, right before Prairie Home Companion. His breed of hate would scare the last dimes of those seniors living on fixed income.

Then we can eat them.

8:06 AM PST  

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